Hoggest Roast

The original plan for the Five Seven Christmas do was to take a light stroll around Dunham Massey, then head to the pub. Bad weather and twisted limbs saw the plan modified: a hog roast at Oddest.

Chubb, Steve, Woody, Max, Zoe and I – a great mix, and a good size for a single conversation. After all of the ballyhoo about where we were going to go, it was odd that Ollie and Wallis weren’t there; they’d been at each other’s throats over email about the arrangements, and then neither surfaced. So it goes, I guess.

We caught up. Max is back from London, and he’s qualified as a surveyor. He’s in the market for a move to Chorlton, which is an interesting step considering that he’s been cohabiting with Wallis since I’ve known them. A good sign, I’d say, for both of them. Independent friendship groups are good for a couple.

We laughed. I haven’t laughed as much for a very long time. My stomach hurt because we laughed so much. My face hurt because of the jollity. Marvellous stuff.

“Which one,” asked Woody, “did you send flowers to?” I pointed Nic out to him. He grinned at me. I grinned too.

I don't like cricket...

...not enough to endure the battering that was day one of the fourth test. instead Woody, Ollie and I sat drinking beers in the sunshine and shooting the shit. We talked about Ben's wedding, about Bettsy's big day, about losing friends over time, about the Butt Slut backstory. We ate spag bol and listened as the Test seemed to end before it had even got started.

For all their machismo, it was very sweet to listen to Ollie and Tom describe the first time that they told their girlfriends, "I love you." Bless em!

Remember that I'm still inside, but I'm dry, I'm dry…

My planned evening of peppermint tea and Batman didn't quite work out as I'd planned. Pippa was just back from her holiday, did I want to meet her for a drink? Antibiotics my foot, I thought, yes I do! Even if my drink is going to be alcohol-free! We went to Oddest, and got some food. It was still really busy, even on day two. We had a mexicana combination platter, which was ace. Once Kate finished work, she joined us, and Dunk soon followed. Pip's holiday sounds like it was amazing, especially the water park. As the bar busied up, ZBox and Chubb came in. "We're meeting Steph!" said Chub with a wink. Zbox and Ollie think I should pull Steph - we'd talked about it last week. I wonder if she likes me. The chance arises, and I'm not drinking - bah! Oh well, so it goes. Steph arrived, looking hot.

Shortly Paul, Louise and David showed up. Pippa, can you talk to Louise about Spain? Paul, can you talk to Dunk about Germany? Thanks! Wow, it's easy to introduce people to common conversation topics when you're stone cold sober and they're a little drunk! Is there a career in that? Probably not. In come David III, Amanda and Ruth. I tiptoed down the smalltalk tightrope with Ruth, who I don't know that well - in as much as I was talking to her about appropriate conversation topics for the hairdresser. If I'd overbalanced, it would have been clear that I was putting my smalltalk tips into practice there and then. Luckily, I had my sobriety to act as a balance bar and keep me stable. Phew! A little excursion over to Steph, Chubb and ZBox, a little bit of chit-chat, and then back. Sobriety is exhausting because you get bored much more quickly than if you're drunk. Especially when it comes to talking to drunks.

On my way home, I ran into Sam outside the Marble. She was wearing a red scarf on her shoulders, and was rather drunk. We're going for a beer on Tuesday night. That's payday eve, I thought, but this dry weekend will save me a bomb. As I passed by Fox Plaza, I found myself thinking that I'd had a really good night. And not a drop of booze. Hmmmm. Could I get used to this?

Keck hearts Jackon's Boat

After watching the Lions beat the Boks in the thrid test, I walked with Ollie and ZBox to collect Ollie’s car from Chorlton. We went along the river in the drizzle, looping around Mersey Bank park, then up to the lake at the Water Park. We saw a burning bin, and called the fire brigade. It had almost burnt itself out by the time they got there, and I was embarrassed to have troubled them. Safety first, eh? We saw frogs the size of our fingernails. Jackson’s Boat made quite an impression on Ollie. Ollie has a field that we could camp out in, it turns out. I was asked to plan something. It could be very cool – late night games in the woods, beers around the fire – I guess we’ll see what happens.

After chips from the Atlantic Fish Bar back at Rock HQ, Ollie drove me down to Didsbury to see Jim and Sean. Paul’s parents showed up. Steve’s were there too. Guardi said that he has Shed Seven tickets, do I want one? Yes please. I saw Bernie for the first time in ages – since Leo’s birthday, in fact. She was very interested in Lucinda’s handiwork on my teeth.

Painted defensive zones don't protect you from your own cruel friends

I met Ollie and Zoe for a few drinks in Chorlton, Electrik and then on to Argyll’s. I put in my PIN and waited at the cash machine. As I was choosing how much money to take out, Olly leapt over my shoulder and pressed £150. Gutted. Still, I took home £145. Not all bad.

Impromtu barbecue

I hosted a barbecue for seven this evening, without really meaning to. Woody left his fresh herbs under my care during Glastonbury, and they grew and grew during that time. When I saw Clare for lunch yesterday, I suggested that she should come to my house to collect them.

“Why not come for food too?”
“It’s nice out. Why not have a barbecue?”
“Why not indeed?”

Zoe, Woody, Durex, Paul and Ollie all came by too. The house and garden went down a storm, and the company was great. I’m still a little nervous that the house is a long way for people to come too, especially from Didsbury, but I hope that tonight lessened that psychological distance for my friends.

Study, Study, Study, Run, Drink, Dance

The early night set me up for a productive day. Three and a half hours of studying in the morning, charity shop shopping over lunch, then another three hours of reading in the afternoon. I feel happy and concerned about the course at the same time. Happy, in that I’m really enjoying learning something new, and concerned in that my exam is only nine weeks away and there’s still a bucketful to learn before even starting revision. In great news, my search of Oxfam Books turned out a textbook that fits around my course very neatly. In other news, I’ve ordered the proper one from Waterstones anyway.

After the study-a-thon, I stepped out for a quick 10k run.



Quick? 52.03. Which is a 5 min12 km, or an 8 min 24 mile. It felt really good all the way round.

Dunk, Kate, Megan, Ryan and I went to Odder for Chubb’s birthday. Craig and the whole of Fordbank were there, along with all of Fiveseven and a handful of other friends and relations. I was the sole representative of Parsonage. So it goes.

I had an amazing night. It was really good to catch up with Craig – who wants to race the boats again! – to ask Rich and Fran about their honeymoon – Safari in Kenya! – to speak to Max and Wallis about Max’s work strife, and how Wallis feels about it – he’s being forced to move to London – and to see the Cook and Woody rendition of Roots Manuva’s ‘Witness.’ We stayed at the bar until it closed, and then five-starred our way into Mojo, leaping past the front of the queue and up the stairs. Kate is very well connected! Yeehaw!!!