A pint of treacle.

Clare called – did I want to meet her and Woody for a stroll along the Mersey? Yes, of course. I took my bike down, and met them between the Parkway and the Water Park. Woody hadn’t really been down there before, and seemed to really enjoy it. The first pint at Jackson’s Boat was a struggle. “Bettsy’s friend,” said Tom, “calls this ‘The Pint of Treacle,’ because it’s so hard to drink.”

We carried on up towards the Bowling Green to watch the Ireland Australia game, and the treacle soon thawed. It was a tremendous game of rugby. At half time Tom and I nipped out to smoke. My bike was under the guard of two burly police officers. Policing is good at the bottom of Beech Road.

Keck hearts Jackon's Boat

After watching the Lions beat the Boks in the thrid test, I walked with Ollie and ZBox to collect Ollie’s car from Chorlton. We went along the river in the drizzle, looping around Mersey Bank park, then up to the lake at the Water Park. We saw a burning bin, and called the fire brigade. It had almost burnt itself out by the time they got there, and I was embarrassed to have troubled them. Safety first, eh? We saw frogs the size of our fingernails. Jackson’s Boat made quite an impression on Ollie. Ollie has a field that we could camp out in, it turns out. I was asked to plan something. It could be very cool – late night games in the woods, beers around the fire – I guess we’ll see what happens.

After chips from the Atlantic Fish Bar back at Rock HQ, Ollie drove me down to Didsbury to see Jim and Sean. Paul’s parents showed up. Steve’s were there too. Guardi said that he has Shed Seven tickets, do I want one? Yes please. I saw Bernie for the first time in ages – since Leo’s birthday, in fact. She was very interested in Lucinda’s handiwork on my teeth.

"I don't like the green ones."

I bombed down to Tall Trees on my bike to catch the Lions game with Woody and Paul. It was a really fast journey, taking about 18 minutes. I braved the Four Banks junction and crossed the Princess Parkway in lane with the cars. Hairy stuff, but quite straightforward once you get over the nerves. Woody had been off work. The argument with Clare had totally blown over. It makes sense – I didn’t think it was very serious at the time. The Lions spluttered a little, but ended up winning pretty well. BOD was amazing, especially for the Fitzgerald try. What a hero.

Kate found the yellow bag of vegetables, and stepped up to the plate when it came to making something pasta-ish out of them: a rich, dark mushroom sauce, almost meaty in its thickness of flavour, delicious! Dunk pretty much proved that tricolour pasta all tastes the same. We drank Dr Jim’s Scottish ale selection. The winner was gooseberry ale, and the loser pine and spruce.

England vs Argentina

Clare and Paul helped me move house in the morning. Later on, Nick, Kumbi Paul and I went to the England match at Old Trafford. Our seats were so high up in the East Stand that we couldn't see the top half of the goalposts, and couldn't tell if conversions or drop-goals were successful. And there was quite a lot of kicking. The crowd began booing each time ball went to boot. Daft, in that England were fielding a relatively un-tested centre combination, and were never more than a converted try ahead until very close to the end. Bah!

Nick, Kumbi and I went into Chorlton for a couple of pints after the game. Well, more like five pints, as it turned out. Were they more drunk than I was? Well they had started earlier on, during the Lions game.

The answer to the question is: "A little better."

I met Woody for a beer in the Woodstock, his new place of work. They were robbed after the Bank Holiday, he told me. Four massive guys with an angle grinder went to work on the safe. Shit. It’s set back from the main road, sure, but its only 400m from a police station. That takes some stones. And how was he coping with the move from a high-pressure target-based call-centre team-leader to slow, afternoon, bar work, sweeping the occasional patio? Pretty well, it seemed. Early doors though, not being stressed takes a bit of time to get used to.

The British Lions romped through the Golden Lions, scoring ten tries to their opponents’ two. Satisfied with their performance, I went to Milner’s for Thai food. Amazing, very peanut-centred! Cally and Ali were there too. Cally’s joining the police. I was dumbstruck. We put on the telly.

After successfully avoiding all that bollucks with Susan Boyle whilst it was going on, I saw her singing for the first time. I was touched, though not for the sappy reasons that many others were touched – my first ever girlfriend put the song I Dreamed A Dream on the tape that she made for me when I went away to University and broke both our hearts. It all came back to me.

“Have I got any better at managing my exes since then?” I wondered in the taxi home. They were playing Nelly and Kelly’s Dilemma. I hate that piece of shit song.

I made the 1st XV...

...of a community of rugby bloggers, based on my contributions during the 6N. How very satisfying!

Centres: Chiptooth and HenryFitz: Chiptooth is the classic crash ball merchant, always gets across the gain line, while HF's elusive style makes him really hard to lay a hand on.

See the full line-up here.

C-c-c-c-c-cold

I woke up cold. My heating isn’t on. Is it my room? Is it the whole house? I’m not sure. Brrr! I couldn’t make the shower run hot, so I had a stand up wash instead. I’ve left my toothbrush at Everett, so I bought one on the way to work. Calamity upon calamity! Another dream remembered, curiously enough. I am now the coach of the England rugby union team, and it is match day. Now it is the time for me to stir up the changing room before kick off. I open my mouth, but can’t speak. The players look at me expectantly. I am silent. I wake up, cold.

“Rather than attend the _____ meeting today Dave, can you order and collect our sandwiches for lunch time.” Um… you’re my boss, I’m hardly going to say no, am I? It was the highlight of my career to date. Seriously. Never before have my colleagues shown such interest in my work. Never before has the impact of my work been as conspicuous. Never before had I seen a room of such smiles as I presented what I’d done.

NTS15

NTS 13

Cool is...

...an xkcd t-shirt.

Where the fuck are Punt and Dennis?

I watched my first Olympic events today. The Spanish and Russian creative synchronised swimming was amazing. I remember sarky gets like Punt and Dennis spouting off when team synchronised swimming was made part of the Olympics in ’96. Twelve years on, sychronised swimming is still entertaining millions on the telly. Where the fuck are Punt and Dennis?

Liz and Gemma came with me down to Old Bedes to watch Paul play his first game of rugby in fifteen years. Gemma and Liz get on very well, which is good for two reasons: one, it’s good that they get on because it’s good when ANY two people click; two, it meant that they could chat to each other, and wouldn’t get too bored whilst I watched the game. It was a gorgeous day, and I was really in the mood for booze, so I hit the Strongbow straight away. A good move!

After the match we met Miriam in the Red Lion, and then all headed over to 46 to rustle up a Bolognese. It turned into an epic session, with Pervy and Paul getting on like a geek house on fire(fox) – interfacing, someone said – oodles of drinking, and loads of fooling around. I think Lu was a little embarrassed that Pervy pumped up Miriam’s tyres, but it was a well-intentioned move, bless him.

Creative Writing Assignment 1

A young football defender from a minor European nation is their country's greatest footballer. At nineteen, and at a mid-range team, he is challenging the national captain who plays in his position.

If Jenas... was Danny Cipriani - and Gerrard was Wilkinson.

Boxing Day at the Rugby Club

Taxi Driver, Kangaroo Court

At the barbershop, a guy walked in, pulled down his hood and said,

"Can you sort this? I watched Taxi Driver last night when I was drunk."



I got back to Wellingborough, tired and hung over, and was drafted in to act as the defence lawyer at a light hearted Kangaroo Court at the rugby club. The old combination of Owen and Dave went down a storm. I'm a good sidekick.

At least 12 weeks of recycling

At least 12 weeks of recycling, originally uploaded by chiptooth.

Guiseppe Lo Conte brought that box of Foster's lager round to watch the first game of this year's RWC, back on September 7th.

and possibly even more, originally uploaded by chiptooth.

"Squidge off!"

I'm looking forward to watching England's version of Jamaica's bobsleigh team on Saturday, over cheese and wine at Fordbank. How civilised.

I saw a badge on the bus that said MOZILLA ROCKS! Until I looked a little more closely. VANILLA ROCKS, actually. It does, but Mozilla rocks more. To a geek like me, at least.

I've got two tickets to The Last Night of the Proms, Manchester style. Excellent!

On the same bus, I overheard somebody describing how they'd used Squidge Off! as an insult.



(picture with grateful thanks to BoingBoing.net and Engrish.com)