Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Don't blame the middleman, come to me

Ever since we were so shabbily taken to the Moss Side office and told “Here’s your new office!” the middle manager has been sending around ‘funny’ (i.e not funny at all) emails. Emails like the one below.

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work..
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

I don’t understand. Does he think that circulating such tedious shite is going to make us forget that we’re moving to Moss Side? If he’s trying to win us over with humour, he should at least try to make it vaguely amusing.

The email above is the second this week. The only comfort for the other disgruntled employees and me is that he’s directly contravening our organisation’s email policy. Delete or file? Maybe I’ll file it. It might come in handy one day.

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