Cantankerous old moo

How old and infirm do you have to be to get away with being really really rude?

Pip and I spent the morning cruising around Chorlton, handing in her CV at bars and cafes around the place. Some places just felt right - The Marble, Pi, The Bar - others were so wrong that we didn't even waste the paper on them. As we headed for the White Star, we came across a very old lady with a white stick. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" she called out. I looked at Pip. She looked back at me. The right thing to do was obvious.

"Hello. Do you need some help?"
"Oh yes. Can you take me to the bread shop by the post office?"
"Yes no problem. I'm DTRMCR, and this is my friend Pippa."
"Hello! What's your name?" asked Pip.
"It's Pat."
"Nice to meet you Pat."

I took her arm, and we crept slowly towards the Post Office. "Slower!" I looked at Pip. Her eyebrows went up. Oh right. We slowed down. "You have to tell me when we're at the kerb." Okay then. How to diffuse the bad vibes? We talked about the weather, what else? The recent heavy snow was a freak weather event, with very wet air from the Atlantic colliding with very cold air from Siberia over the M4 corridor. The south had been horribly affected. Manchester less so.

Pip: We were saved by the hills of Cheshire to the south
Pat: Rubbish, no hills in Cheshire, where's your geography Pippa? The Pennines, it was the Pennines.
DTRMCR: I think...

Pip squeezed my arm, shook her head slightly. I held my tongue. We plodded on, with me highlighting every kerb we approached. "We're near the post office now, Pat," I said, the relief audible in my voice, "What are you doing in the post office?"
"Pay attention, I said I wanted to go to the bread shop. Don't you listen?"

We didn't speak from then on, a cloud of silence around us until we got to the shop. We held open the door, guided our rude companion up the step, and left. We said goodbye, and she didn't say thank you.

Someone so rude must test the patience of anybody that looks after them. Our fifteen minutes was hellish. Carers are saints.

Pip