Toejam and Earl

Lewis’ new house in Melton Mowbray is lovely. It’s a huge three-bedroomed semi with a nice garden and a vast kitchen. It would suit children. They’re practicing with a couple of cats for now. Lewis and Ange are very dependent on each other, I guess in part because they don’t know many people in Melton apart from each other. I was stunned by just how far this dependence went though. Yes, it was Ange’s first Christmas Day off work for ages. But Lewis had decided to spend Christmas Eve in with Ange, rather than catch up with his old schoolfriends. On Christmas Day, Lewis was planning to go to Ange’s parents house all day, and not pay anything other than a flying visit to Owen’s to see Lenny. On the day we plan to meet our old schoolfriends, Lewis was planning to leave around the time that Ange finished work. It was clear to me that keeping her happy was the most important thing to Lewis now.

As we sat and played Toejam and Earl, I pondered a little on the phrase “Bros before hoes.” I don’t know how many people that say actually mean it. Just because something rhymes doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s something that young men say, I think, single men. Nobody that’s married says it. Nobody with kids says it. Nobody with a shared mortgage with their partner, like Lewis, says it. If putting friends ahead of lovers is the meaning of the phrase, then it ought to be “Bros UNTIL hoes.” Friends come first, until you find someone who is special enough to dominate your affections. I felt happy and sad all at once. I’m happy Lewis is so in love, but sad that I’m getting a more thinly spread portion of my friend. So it goes.